Ten Rule For Datiung My Teenage Daughter
by flowerchild77
Summary: Grissom has Some rule for her daughters new boyfriend. re-posted


I Do Not Own CSI, but thank god the writers finally got some sense back and brought Jorja back for parts of next season

This is not the continuation of my next story just a little drabble that was inspired by something I found

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Gil sighed as he sat back down at his office desk. He knew he had to finish writing this. After all his oldest child, his daughter had just turned sixteen and now had a boyfriend and he knew all to well of what sixteen year old boys thought of.

Opening up his computer Gil continued writing his rules:

_Ten Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter_

_Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you sure are not picking anything up._

_Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep you eyes and hands off my daughter's body, I will REMOVE them._

_Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear there trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please do not take this as an insult, but you and all your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist._

_Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some sort can kill you. Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you._

_Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early"_

_Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry._

_Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more then an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her make- up, a process that can take longer then painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?_

_Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer then a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policeman, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, r happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-Shirts, or anything other then overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folk's homes are better._

_Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a retired man that looks to be too old to have a sixteen year old. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all- knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do NOT TRIFLE WITH ME._

_Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice patty outside Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, the return to your car- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine._

Finishing his typing Gil smiled to himself as he hit the print button.

Allie, his oldest daughter had a date tonight and he thought it would be best for her 'date' to read over his rules just to make sure everyone was on the same page.

Hearing the doorbell go off Gil smiled to himself and grabbed the printout and made his way downstairs to meet his daughter's new boyfriend

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LOL I hoped you enjoyed this little drabble. This story came to me as I was going through some old drawers and found Ten Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter.

Apparently my dad found these rules and decided they were pretty funny and printed them off himself .

Please note he did not write these rules, they have been written by someone else. I just thought i would put my own spin on it.

Anyways after I found it I had this picture of Grissom sitting at his desk writing the same thing out for his daughter.

Anyways I'm done rambling now, please leave a review and tell me what you think

Katie


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